People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
