I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize