3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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