We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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