What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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