You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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