i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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