on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize