I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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