He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
