You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
