There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
