So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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