No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
