dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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