And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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