It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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