we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
