woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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