Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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