Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

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(905): View more from Ontario

he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm pregnant.

(1-407): View more from Florida

The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.

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(956): View more from Texas

You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom

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(914): View more from New York

Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.

(313): View more from Michigan

That's dedication to the game.

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(845): View more from New York

so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore

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