im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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