I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
