Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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