"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
