somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
