I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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