they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
