Only a mothe r could love this liver
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
