need another drink. this is the easiest way
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
