i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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