I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
