you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize