names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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