whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
