Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
