meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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