clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize