You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
