she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
