sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
