god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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