I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize