Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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