I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
