You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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