Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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