He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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