PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
