well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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