So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
