I'm eating all of the evidence.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
