do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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