I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
