no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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