Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I skipped work to stalk him.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize