There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
