I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
