i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
