I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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