ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
