New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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