She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
