My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
