Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize