New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
well you can't waste a boner
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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