She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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