Well apparently he's into motor boating.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
