wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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