shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
