it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize