sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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