I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
