Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
