I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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